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Final Crisis #5 was the least convoluted and confusing issue to date, which is a little bit like saying that Katrina was the least destructive category five hurricane to hit New Orleans a couple years back.

I’m still shelling out four bucks a pop for this mess, but I don’t know why.   Wonder Woman, the character featured on the cover, appears only briefly in the comic, and only in possessed by Darkseid, female fury form.  Superman was removed from the fray a couple of issues back and has yet to return.  Batman is nowhere to be seen.  But don’t worry, we’ve got… Frankenstein on our side?

Even with the big bad Darkseid enslaving half the planet, this just doesn’t feel Crisis-y enough.  One major reason is the aforementioned absence of Superman.

Two more issues.  I really hope something happens.  Something big.  Something that makes me say ‘wow’.  Something that would fit in oh, say, Secret Invasion.  At least Superman Beyond #2 comes out next month.  Although it has been so long since I read #1 that I forget what’s happening over there.

DC, oh DC.  How I miss the good old days.  The John Byrne era when Superman was the last son of Krypton.  The reinvention of the Dark Knight.  The magnificent seven Justice League.  Now all you seem to do is retread the silver age and indulge writers whose egos have outgrown their mass appeal.

Dare I hope that the ‘new’ Batman will take us into new territory?  Speaking of which, tomorrow we’ll dish about the simply awful new Batman: the Brave and the Bold animated series.

Batman R.I.P.

Taken as a whole, Batman R.I.P. was an OK Batman story.  I haven’t been reading the Batman titles regularly, so I was lost on a lot of the historical references.  Apparently, somewhere in the past, Batman went into a cave (not the Batcave, but a regular cave) for awhile.  Apparently, somebody programmed him with a post-hypnotic suggestion so they could later erase his Batman persona.  Apparently, he planned ahead in case of such an emergency and created a backup personality, which just happens to be loopy as a fruitnut. 

In the end, Batman is still Batman.  He had it all figured out and was well in control of the situation, even when chained and buried alive.  DC isn’t even pretending that Bruce is dead, since the casebook was written by him.  He’ll be back.  The big mystery is: who will be the temporary Batman until Bruce returns?

Probably Nightwing.  And they’ll probably kill him off.  Word is that they wanted to off Dick Grayson during Final Crisis, but decided to do Superboy instead. 

Batman R.I.P. was a good-enough story, but failed to live up to the hype.  DC’s press material said that we wouldn’t believe the ending.  I’m not even sure what aspect they’re referring to.  There was nothing shocking or special at all.  There was a nice full-page panel of Nightwing holding the Batman cowl, though.  At least that’s something…

We interrupt our regularly scheduled Ultimate vs Marvel comparison to bring you this review of Final Crisis #4.  In a word: “huh?”  After reading this book, all I can do is shake my head and ask “what is happening here?”  A month has passed (I think) since last issue, and the world has fallen to Darkseid.  Except that Darkseid hasn’t done anything, can’t do anything, because he is busy fighting to get himself reborn in Dan Turpin’s body.

The world’s greatest superheroes appear to be trapped in a giant glass bottle in the Hall of Justice, while the world’s OKest heroes (Green Arrow, Black Canary, the Ray, Tattooed Man, the Flash Kids, and Oracle) ignore them and develop battle plans with the other surviving heroes from their six secret bases around the world.

Barry Allen, the original Flash, was reconstituted from some random molecules, or something such, and uses his super kissing power (ala Superman II) to rescue his wife Iris from the anti-life equation.  Superman is off in another dimension still (in Superman Beyond) while also simultaneously visiting  the 30^th Century (in Legion of Three Worlds) and being trapped in the aforementioned giant bottle. 

I just don’t get it.      

Tomorrow: Ultimate Colossus vs the Main Marvel Universe Colossus

I picked up a copy of Superman #681 with some foreboding.  $2.99 for a comic with a picture of a dog on the cover just didn’t sit well with me.  Fair disclaimer – I hate the idea of Krypto as the last dog of Krypton.  I am adamantly opposed to the return of the Silver Age that is flooding over DC these days.   

But it was the conclusion of a four issue arc, so I took the plunge.   The story itself was OK.  Superman struggling against a magic foe and using his brains and his might together to win when might alone could not.  The overall concept was quite good, actually.  Krypto coming to the rescue as a delaying agent worked.  Superman coming back to win the day worked. 

If I were to grade the story without looking at characterization, I’d give it good marks.  But character, as they say, does matter.  Superman acted like a petulant brat when he berated the citizens of Metropolis for not liking his dog enough.  The whole conversation with Zatanna’s little cousin was just weird and out of character.  Instead of supporting the young hero’s efforts, Superman mocked his age and his lower-level magic while demanding his aid.  It just wasn’t Superman-ish at all. 

When did Krypto revert back to the Silver Age version?  Superman 680 references him as having been put in a test rocket by Jor-El before he sent his infant son to earth.  I thought the current Krypto jumped through a portal from the Krypton of a pocket dimension (sorry – I don’t have the issue reference for you).  Is this the machinations of Infinite Crisis?  Did Superboy punch the wall? 

Why, oh why,, is DC undoing the last twenty-plus years of story-telling to give us the Silver Age all over again?  Invisible Jets, Bat-mites, thousands of living Kryptonians… John Byrne, where are you when we need you?

I don’t even know what to call this era of DC comics.  We had the golden age, the silver age, the bronze age (sometime called the modern age).  This is the post-modern redux of the silver age.  In the words of a comics great from a gentler age “I’ve had all I can stands; I can’t stands no more.”

As the summer mega-crossover events wind down, let’s take a moment to try to predict how things may shake out.

Final Crisis:

Lois will be fine.  He life-threatening injury will be healed (by the menstruum, natch) with no lingering effects.

Darkseid will be defeated & all of machinations will be undone with no lingering effects.

The Legion of Three Worlds event will end with a dead Superboy.

Superman Beyond will be a standalone story that will have no impact on anything.

Barry Allen will re-die in a heroic act of self-sacrifice. 

Secret Invasion:

The heroes will lose.  Earth will be occupied by the Skrull.  (OK, I’m going out on a limb here, but what fun are predictions if you don’t take a chance?)

Nobody significant will die.

Nick Fury’s new team will get their own book, which will suck & be cancelled within two years.

Kate whats-her-name will give up the Hawkeye mantle and Clint Barton will return to his roots.  (No, I don’t really believe that will happen.  Just wishful thinking.)

The Watchmen hit the comics scene over twenty years ago, the same year that Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns knocked our collective argyles off.  The Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons was a masterpiece of graphic fiction, years ahead of its time.  It is actually on Time Magazine’s list of the 100 greatest novels of all time.  Not graphic novels, all novels.  It is that good.

I didn’t read The Watchmen back in 1986.  Even though I may lose my comic geek status for admitting this, I never read it until about a year ago.  The thing is, it is so powerful and amazing now, even after over 20 years.  Most comics from the 80s and even the 90s are so dated now that to read them today has nostalgia value at best.  This comic is different.  If you’ve never read it, go pick it up.  You won’t be sorry.  DC just re-released the trade paperback this month, so it is sure to be on the shelves of any comic shop.  But, honestly, any comic shop worth its salt already had a copy on hand.

I hate to over-hype any book.  Regular readers know that I haven’t been too keen on DC’s offerings lately.  But for this geeks money, The Watchmen is absolutely the best comic I have ever read, bar none.

Is it just me, or does it seem like a bad idea for DC to put out a comic specifically dedicated to exploring the political leanings of their characters?  DC: Decisions is supposed to look at the personal choices of some of the major DC characters in regards to politics.  For somebody like Green Arrow, who has been portrayed as a die-hard liberal for almost forty years, it’s no big deal.  But to start carving out a position for the big guns is a tricky proposition that could end up alienating more readers than it appeases. 

Do left-leaning readers really want to be disillusioned by learned that Bruce Wayne votes like most billionaires do?  Will the Sarah Palin set be upset by finding out the Diana Prince votes like a typical feminist?  Given the political slant of Warner Brothers, I’m a little bit surprised that they haven’t shown John McCain holding secret meetings with Lex Luthor while Barak Obama single-handedly captures the Joker.  Yet.

I just don’t see any good coming from this.  I’ve decided that I’m not reading Decisions.  I think this may be a case where I’d rather not know.

I feel like I could almost write this review in one word: OK. The story was OK.  The art was OK.  The book was… OK.  I can’t quite put my finger on it, but somehow the titanic clash of Superman and Atlas isn’t as compelling as it should be. 

Two issues back, I wondered why Superman didn’t bring Hal Jordan along with him when he sensed an emergency.  Instead he left him to look after his dog.  Now, Krypto has arrived in Metropolis, so I’m wondering all over again.  Wouldn’t a Green Lantern be helpful in a situation like this?  Why isn’t Hal still watching Krypto? 

And while I’m nitpicking, if you want to show how dangerous a super-baddie is, you have him smack around Superman.  That makes sense.  Then, to show that he’s continuing his rampage, you have him take down Steel in one panel.  I’m with you.  But then to really ratchet things up, you have him beat down… Bibbo Bibowski?

I don’t like Krypto.  I don’t like Supergirl (at least not this iteration of her.  I liked the “Matrix” Supergirl.)  I loved the reboot when John Byrne took Superman back to being the last son of Krypton.  Now the Silver Age is creeping back in again and we’ve got three Kryptonians (not counting the dog) running around, plus a kabillion more in the phantom zone. 

Having said all of that, this wasn’t a bad issue.  There was a classic battle of two super powered titans.  There was a nice little peek into the home life of the world’s greatest superhero.  It was all very OK.  I am a little concerned about next month.  I may just keep my 299 cents in my pocket if the whole issue is a throw down between Krypto and Atlas. 

Relatively Spoiler-Free

In the latest issue of Final Crisis, Superman’s role was reduced to sitting by the bedside of his critically injured wife, using his heat-vision to keep her heart beating.  A mysterious woman arrived and offered the means to cure Lois if Superman would go with her…

Superman Beyond 3D opens with the same scene (well, after a quick scene of Superman being beaten to a pulp by an unknown villain who refers to Superman’s “Cosmic Armor”, which he does not appear to be wearing).

The mystery woman turns out to be a Monitor of Nil, and she claims to be taking Superman on a mission to save all of existence.  Along with our Superman, she has recruited Ultraman (a bad version of Superman from Earth–3, where evil always triumphs over good), Overman (a German-speaking Superman from Earth-10, where the Nazis won WWII), Captain Marvel (the Fawcet Comics variety from Earth-5), and The Quantum Superman (Captain Allen Adam from Earth-4.  He’s a cross between Captain Atom from Charlton Comics and his pastiche in an alternate DC reality, Captain Manhattan).

While attempting to stop an out of control reality-spanning ship, they end up in Limbo, trapped in a world where they will soon forget everything and be forgotten.  There they find a book with an infinite number of pages, all occupying the same space - every book possible contained in one volume.

This is only a two-part series, and the first issue is just barely getting us set up for the action.  Other than the strange little ‘fast forward’ at the beginning, the big bad does not make an appearance in the book.  Though anytime you’ve got Ultraman and a Vampiric Monitor (that’s right) running around, you’re set for some solid conflic.  This is what the main Final Crisis has lacked so far.  A multiverse-spanning epic featuring the greatest heroes of their worlds.

Unlike Final Crisis proper, I’m eagerly awaiting the next issue of FC: SB 3D.